FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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