At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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