She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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