I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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