yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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