there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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