I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize