we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
