I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
