We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
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You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I touched a dick in church today
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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