My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
