Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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