i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
