If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize