You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
