We're like a lot better than the average bears
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
