Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
