I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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