Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
