This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
