You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
