does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
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If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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