There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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