After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
