LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
