we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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