last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
