As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
