ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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