i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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