there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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