You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
