I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
