I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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