operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
