I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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