go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
