I can tuck mytits in my pants
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
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Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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