they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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