BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
