the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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