the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
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I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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