soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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