next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
