Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
