WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
