Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
