we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
