Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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