I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
