I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He shit in the fireplace
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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