the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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