I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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