This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm too high and old for this...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
