I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
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truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
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So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize