Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
