Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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