Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Randomize
