the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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